Battle

I am lying upstairs on my bedroom floor

Stomach pressed hard on the ground

Right cheek against the rough carpet, facing the wall

I come to my senses.

I feel and listen.

I am tired, infact exhausted is a better word.

I'm trying to find peace and order in my life.

I reflect on my emotions, my senses.

My right ear hears

the distant sound of the radio below

voices that i cannot make out, yet still seem to talk and yell at me

trying to break through the barrier of the floor

it will not succeed

My left ear hears

the wind blowing perfusely outside

the sound of rain falling against the pavement

and yet still hears the silence in my room

and the beating of my broken heart

I feel like two different worlds are pulling at me

neither one able to reach the inner most part of me

the part that needs some connection

to someone, something

A part of me feels

that the voices represent many people in my life

pushing to get in, but can't quite reach

A part of me feels

the rain thats pouring down and the angry wind

represent my inner struggle and the tears that flow down my face.

It is a battle,

raging loud, raging silence

right to left, left to right