Winter Wonder Land

Winter Is Here! December is Here! And Christmas is right around the corner!

I must say that so many times I find myself upset that its so cold and that some days seem so grey and bitter. But this December and Christmas season I look outside and I can't help but be in absolute astonishment at the beauty that surrounds us. It's unbelievable.

Every day I become more aware of God's creation and the wonderful world that we live in. So often I take it for granted.

Have you ever taken the time to stop and look at a tree? Or what about the snow that falls ever so lightly and sits on its branches. To have the morning sun shine its light over us, spreading its beauty like the shadow of his wings. It's gorgeous, in fact it's breath taking.

I can't help but sit here in front of my computer, look out at my window, and just stare.

I am speechless. God is so good. He is so faithful. His creation is a testimony to how awesome he really is.

This winter I'm taking in every bit of beauty, Thanking God for his many blessings, and searching for him everywhere I can.

Merry Christmas!

Faith

This is the story of my life right now:

"Faith Isn't Faith Until It's All Your Holding On To"

I'm this close

everything is in arms reach.
i can feel you. i can breath you in.
i know your right there, your on every side of me.
i know you love me and im dying to reach out and touch you.
i want to hold on to you for life, never let go.
but the air around me is suffocating.
i cannot grab your hand or hold you
im held back by every other part of me
im pulled in all directions
and with every choice i make i hurt someone
you are in arms reach, but i just cant touch you.

its killing me and i dont know what to do

reach out for you?

stay right here?

hold on with everything I am?

save someones heart?

grab on and never let go?

or stay as I am

just reaching and breathing you in...torture

Psalm 23

Today I take every comfort and trust in this verse. For I need nothing more than Christ's love in my life.

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Light The Night

Tonight is Light the Night for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. I have brought together a team called Faith, Hope and Love! We have 17 friends and family walking with us!

This is the second year I have participated and created a team for this event. With is comes great satisfaction and excitement as well as hardship and emotions. My mother Brenda Johnson was diagnosed August 27th, 2007 with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The past two years have been quite the journey for our family. Through intense chemotherapy, nights in hospital, check-ups, tests, and hair loss my mother has been an absolute trooper. We are so proud of her.

Tonight we go out with hearts full of love and thankfulness for how far my mother and many others suffering with Cancer have come. I'm going to put a smile on my face, wipe the tears away, and continue to hope for a future where they find a cure.

Change

my mother told me the other day "Maryse, its okay to keep the past in your heart, but keep the wind in your face."

Right now I'm trying so hard to move on in life. To leave the past behind me so that I can be free of the chains that hold me back.

I'm holding on with the fiercest grip to the things that once brought me so much joy. I must accept that things have changed. The memories of my laughter and happiness now bring me to tears. It hurts me to just think. I feel trapped inside my mind.

I know I have an inner strength that is more powerful then I believe it to be. It's time that I find it and use it.

I need to find my faith again. Faith that there is more to life then my sorrow, and that there is a God who loves me and will give me a place to hide and find comfort.

I have learned over the past few days that I can overcome my struggle of moving on and that...

"In a world that is constantly changing, the only constant we have is God."

An Update

I thought that instead of writing out a poem, a song, or a paragraph of emotions I would just sit and reflex on my life, sharing whats going on and how I'm doing.

Today is Sunday. I feel relaxed on sundays. Besides church, they will often be filled with studying at home or at the coffee shop but none the less I like Sundays. Last week I started my fall semester of Nursing at Mount Royal University. I had a great week. For the most part I'm intrigued with the classes I'm taking and I'm excited for all the new challenges that are being thrown at me.

I already have quite the load of studying to do but I am focused and determined to do well and put in the effort. I made the decision last week to join the Triathlon team at the University. This starts up on tuesday morning and I'm really looking forward to it. I will be competeing in my first ever triathlon this coming April! I have lots of time to train and I'm sure I will enjoy it. My goal is to eventually raise money and do a triathlon for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada.

Other than university, teaching piano and voice, studying, and church my life is pretty normal. I'm really trying to make every effort to spend time just doing things that I love and that make me happy. I sometimes find myself so caught up in the busy life I live that I forget to have me time. So as I invest more of myself in school and studying I also want to invest my time and energy in playing piano, singing, running, walking my dog, being with friends, reading (not textbooks!), writing, and spending time with family.

The days and months ahead aren't going to be an easy ride. I am looking forward to it though because I know that in the end all the bumps, curves, hills, and valleys will only make me a stronger person and my hard work will pay off and bring me joy and satasfaction.