truth in me

"In the search for me, I discovered truth. In the search for truth, I discovered love. In the search for love, I discovered God. And in God, I have found everything." - unknown author

so far apart

If I could wrap my head around,
why you won't hear me now,
you tend to break my heart.

Keep my eyes close long enough,
or maybe just wake up without a soul so fall apart

Everytime I pick you up, you find a way to fall
don't you know a conversation doesnt mean ignore me.

Like a father living as a ghost,
and like a lover leaving when you need the most
And like a son you love, but can't quite reach anymore.

If I could figure out what you want from me,
I'm always open, and you can come on in.
Give you room to breath in hope, that part of you that's so cold, we melted, we can be friends again.

Everytime I feel I'm getting closer, things get worse,
But I know how the story goes because you're not the first.

Like a father living as a ghost,
and like a lover leaving when you need the most
And like a son you love, but can't quite reach anymore.

And even though you're thinking you don't need me and you're missing out on everything you should know.
Like a daughter, I pray.
Like a lover, I wait.
and Like a mother I'll be here when you fall.

stars

"what do you see when you look at the stars?" he asked. she said "i see three things: something more, beauty, and God" he looked into her eyes and responded softly "that's what I see in you".

Dear friend, you may never read this or never know how thankful i am for you. but the Lord has blessed me because I know you. I was blind at first to the fact that God would show his love through you, or any person for that matter. But now I see, that through your eyes and through your heart I am that much closer and in love with my heavenly father. Thank you. Blessings over you and your amazing heart. With Love, Maryse

arms wide open

If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places,

If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me,

Take up your cross, deny yourself, 
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me
,
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness

You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me

And You’ll come alive when you learn to die

My Exchanged Life

Another morning, Another day in this broken, fallen, and dark world. Another day facing trials, fighting temptation, fighting for truth while throwing out lies. "You're not good enough, You're useless, You're ugly, You're full of bloody scars, You're hopeless, you'll always fail, and you will never be happy." Another day on earth, pushing through depression, finding a smile, accepting confusion and accepting the mysteries of life.

I am so messed up and so is this world, yet you've called me to live in it and serve you. I don't know how to go on, I don't know what to say or do. So Lord, I give it all to you. Today in the brokenness, in the frustration, and in the desire to see you face to face I will focus on you no matter what and serve you wholeheartedly. In all the chaos may I live, move, and breath for you. I may not always want to be here but Lord I'll give you my heart, I'll worship and serve you. I realize that nothing in this world matters when I don't have you.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

It's time that I die, so I may live for you. Lord no longer I, but Christ in me. I can't live the perfect Christian life. I am broken and nothing without you. I am humbled by you Lord, You are so good and I desperately need you. I see how much I've fallen apart Lord, instead of me trying to figure it out and find favour by my own works I have decided to die to my flesh. Lord help me fully rely on you, it's only by your grace and nothing else that I can serve you. Thank you that every time I think I have it together you break me.

My identity is in you and you alone. I am a new creation in Christ, crucified with him, now living with him. My identity is not locked in my old self and sinful ways, for that has died and been buried. Colossians 3:1-4 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

Christ lives in me and I in him. I am a part of the heavenly realms and have access to the kingdom of God. I am a part of the royal family and am a princess, daughter of the King. Through my Saviour, Lover, Father, and Friend Jesus I am set free. In the Spirit I am free, free to move where it's winds blow me. I am white as snow and through him I am worthy to be used for his glory. Lord I abide in you, you are the vine and I am a branch. I only produce fruit in you. "Christ in me the hope of glory" Colossians 1:27

My value, perfection and holiness is not dependent on me and what I do for Christ, but it is dependent on Christ who is blameless, beautiful, and perfect in his fathers eyes. In you Lord I have these qualities and you see these things in me. I have your presence and power.

I'm walking my life with Jesus, as one. Christ is in me, the hope of glory.

This is my exchanged life.

farewell

much of my thoughts lately have gone to friendships in my life

the new
the old
and the fading

a friend lends a shoulder to cry on
an ear to listen
an eye to guide
and a heart to love

it's hard to let friendships go
ones that were once so colourful
but now are dawning grey

i try not to lie to myself, i feel alone
I've taken a different path
one that leads away from the past

i don't want to be pulled back
yet I'm afraid to run full force forward

i must make a decision,

move forward and take the risk of losing or stay still but live the life i've given up.

i know what i need to do, so

this is my declaration, my moment, my time to speak

and say

goodbye.

suffocating

hands tight around my neck
gasping for air
my heart is beating fast
i need an escape

desperately wanting help
i cry out, "someone save me"
i hear laughter.
i look up, he smirks

he raises a hand
my cheek begins to sting
tears roll down my face
he continues to laugh

I'm screaming, I'm breathing, I'm hardly holding on
My silent cries for help are fading as I fight.

he pushes, he yells
throws me against the wall
my head begins to throb
my world turns black...

"wake up, wake up"
i try to tell myself
"wake up, wake up"
but all i feel is pain

i look at the ground
but only see blood
i know that I'm hurt
but can't remember the play

pick me up, all the broken pieces
i just can't do it on my own

I'm screaming, I'm suffocating, I'm hardly holding on.
My silent cries for help are fading as I fight

I fight to survive, I fight to breath
I fight just to live through this memory, through the
pain that will never leave.